The Chicago boys got OSU alumni Big Ev aka the Double Vodka Don on for a college mascot draft. More specifically, with the Natty going on that night, a college football mascot draft. I think this is an extremely important distinction going into the draft. There are schools who have very good football and basketball programs and they both obviously share a nickname, but the mascots themselves may resonate more in one sport over the other. The Kansas Jayhawk is a great overall mascot, but in my eyes he clearly represents the basketball team more than the football team, although they are both the Jayhawks. That sentiment goes both ways too. I think a mascot like Mike the Tiger very much represents LSU football, but doesn’t really have much of a presence in basketball. I choose those two examples for no specific reason at all. Football Mascots does make a difference and drafts should show that. So let’s go, bang bang.
Order: 1- Eddie 2-WSD 3- Big Ev (first draft). 4- Carl 5- Chief
Round 1- (No grades, too deep of a pool to start)
Pick 1: Eddie- The Oregon Duck (PAC-12)
There’s no true 1.1 in this draft. It’s a personal choice to lead things off. I think The Oregon Duck is an OK first overall. It’s not the mascot I would build my team around but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have first round qualities. The sprint out, the push ups, memorable commercial, awesome oversized head and feet. The flaw is that historically he’s the second best large billed fowl mascot.
Pick 2: WSD- Uga, Georgia (SEC)
This being a football specific draft makes Uga a first round lock if he wasn’t already. When you add Blue and Handsome Dan into the mix he has bulldog competition but Butler and Yale aren’t making the board for football. Uga has one of the most famous mascot clips out there when an Auburn player got too close for his liking. The form fitting doggie uniform is certifiably adora-bull. WSD didnt skip a beat after Vegas.
Pick 3: Big Ev- Brutus Buckeye, Ohio State (Big 10)
Big Ev had to take Brutus here. Sure, Brutus may fall to him in the second round, but he also may not, so it’s a risk Big Ev could not take. If Brutus wasn’t Evs first overall pick, his draft would have become invalid. He didn’t hesitate though. He got his man, and now can work from there in the final four rounds.
Pick 4: Carl- Otto the Orange, Syracuse (ACC)
Im a Syracuse guy. Basketball season ticket holder since ’06. Otto is my 1.1. Bias aside, I think Otto is a first rounder either way. Whether it’s football specific or not, Otto is an elite mascot and has been for a long time. It’s actually a testament to Otto that despite SUs disappointing football program, he still is featured in mascot promos year in and year out. If you’re doing anything with college mascots, Otto is there.
Pick 5: Chief- Smokey, Tennessee (SEC)
Smokeys a bluetick coonhound. Chief has a bluetick coonhound. It’s the pick Chief had to make to lead off his draft and I think the 5 spot is the perfect place to be in to do that. He gets to take the pick near and dear to him in the first round and then immediately turns around to start to construct his team around Smokey. And Smokey is a strong live mascot to have on your list. His beautiful spotted coat and the Tennessee peaches and cream checkered vest on is just an incredible look. Smokey is awesome.
ROUND 1- There is nothing that seriously jumps out here. Big Ev and Chief did what they had to do. Carl and WSD got true first round talent. I do think Eddie fell behind early and the regret shows later in the draft.
Round 2-
Pick 6: Chief- Ralphie the Bison, Colorado (Pac-12)
- Grade- Presidential seal of approval.
Official mammal of the United States, absolute stat drop. While other scouts were re-watching tape on Trevor Lawrence, Chief was finding a diamond in the rough. Ralphie is for sure not the most well known mascot on the board, and Colorado doesnt move the needle in the football world currently, but that entrance will forever be one of the coolest things going. Bison are a remarkable creature and having that thing run full steam out of the gates is special. Chief goes back to back live animals and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
Pick 7: Carl- Pistol Pete, Oklahoma State (Big 12)
- Grade- Horns Down
Pistol Pete is an exciting mascot. 6-shooters in the holster, extra large stirrups, and a hilarious mix of human and oversized mascot head costume. However, I think Carl just missed the mark here. There is a clear number 1 to me coming out of the Big 12 that should have been taken before anyone else from the conference. Pete doesn’t hurt Carl at all, but Otto and Bevo would have been a one two punch that stood out on the board.
Pick 8: Big Ev- Bevo, Texas (Big 12)
- Grade- Grade A Beef
Big Ev gets rewarded for staying true to himself in the first round and gets a first rounder in the second. This is who I was referring to when I said there was a clear number 1 in the Big 12 and Ev jumped on him when he fell. The Texas Longhorns are college football. The hand symbol. Hook em. Bevo represents all of those things perfectly. The longhorn is just an incredible sight. Those horns look even cooler in person. Big Ev now has a traditional big head mascot and what some may consider the best live mascot in college football.
Pick 9: WSD- Chief Osceola and Renegade, Florida State (ACC)
- Grade- B+
This is a triple threat pick because Renegade is GORGEOUS and the entrance is incredible. Chief Osceola is a great human mascot who pays homage to a historical Seminole leader. The ride out and burning spear is captivating. I think the ACC is super thin and the best from the conference is already off the board so Dave scooping up Uga and saddling renegade here is a strong start.
Pick 10: Eddie- Mike the Tiger, LSU (SEC)
- Grade- Geaux Tigas
As much as I didn’t love Eddies first overall pick, he totally gets back into the thick of things going with Mike here. Mike has big time recency bias, and that’s okay. He is a stunning beast and it is documented how well he is treated down in the Bayou. Shirtless Coach O jogging by Mikes enclosure everyday while Ray Baker shines down on them just brings a smile to face. The more this draft goes on, the more you appreciate how many top notch live mascots are in college football.
ROUND 2- Big Ev is the winner of round 2. Bevo is first round talent and Big Ev should be very happy about that pick. Carl missing there is still surprising me. Eddie had a great bounce back here with Mike the Tiger.
Round 3-
Pick 11: Eddie- Blue Devil, Duke (ACC)
- Grade- D…ook is poop
Sticking the 3 round wrap around is essential for whoever is in the 1 spot and Eddie just hit some black ice and went flying into the guard rail. When this became a football specific draft, the Blue Devil immediately came off any boards he may have been on. Personally he isn’t even on my mascot board, regardless of sport, but I realize the clout he brings. He’s creepy, but not creepy enough that it’s funny creepy — just plain old creepy. Heck, I don’t even think he’s the best mascot in the battle for Tobacco Road! The Blue Devil here is a bad pick that I don’t think Eddie can bounce back from with the way the other guys are building their teams.
Pick 12: WSD- Purdue Pete, Purdue (Big 10)
- Grade- White Trash
Blue collar mascot. Midwest mascot. Underrated mascot. Pete is just a stretch here in the third round. Dave said the Big Ten was weak. I think that totally wrong. The Big 10 is deep so Dave didn’t have to dip into this conference yet if he wanted Pete on his team. Ed was reeling from Blue Devil and tried to hate on Pete’s true redeeming quality, his sledgehammer. A sledgehammer is the perfect tool for a mascot like Purdue Pete.
Pick 13: Big Ev- Stanford Tree, Stanford (Pac-12)
- Grade- Rich Mahogany
Ev is crushing this draft. The Stanford tree is one of the more unique mascots in sports. Absurd. Goofy. Intimidating. Looking at the Stanford Tree is like looking at the Kramer painting. Starring role in a hilarious ESPN commercial. Ev has strength, diversity, pedigree. His first three rounds have him in place to win this draft.
Pick 14: Carl- Sparty, Michigan State (Big 10)
- Grade- Thumbs Up
Ev may be building a dominant team, but the draft master isn’t just going to let a guest walk away with it. Sparty is a bad man. He is such a cool looking mascot costume. He’s absolutely jacked. The green and white from State is crisp. Stand out name. Sparty can very much lead Otto and Pistol Pete who are wildcards when performing, point the sword and everyone hops to. Sparty is the top muscle bound man in the Big Ten so this makes WSDs 3rd round pick look worse.
Pick 15: Chief- Boomer Scooner, Oklahoma (Big 12)
- Grade- B
If Chief gets people to vote based on the production of the whole package here, it’s amazing value in the 3rd round. The Boomer Scooner horse and wagon entrance has got to be unreal to see live. It is added to college football hype vids every year. Having the one tip over doesn’t mean anything to the overall strength of this pick. Just like Daves Renegade, horses are majestic animals. Chief does get a little repetitive with the entrance style mascots but they are both so exciting and so synonymous with college football they are paired well together. Chief went back to back pass rushers who will give QBs fits every week.
ROUND 3- This round started off terribly. Ed sunk his team. WSD really got behind the 8 ball because the picks following his were strong. Drafts are won and lost in the middle rounds and Ed and Dave lost this round.
Round 4-
Pick 16: Chief- Sebastian, Miami (ACC)
- Grade- A
Chief finally takes a more traditional looking mascot and he absolutely nails his pick. Sebastian as a throwback logo on a hat or sweatshirt is one of the cleanest looking pieces of college football merch. This is who I was speaking of when I said there was a better large billed mascot than Eds and his regret instantly showed here. Chief is having one of his strongest drafts ever so far and I hope the voters don’t overlook it.
Pick 17: Carl- Cosmo the Cougar, BYU (Independent)
- Grade- 10
One of the most athletic costume mascots in the nation. He is an absolute showman. Extremely versatile. Gymnastics, various styles of dance, calisthenics, Cosmo does it all. Because of the school he doesn’t get the national recognition he deserves. Carl and Chiefs teams are so different but both so strong in their own ways. These two picks put the pressure on Big Evs 4th pick.
Pick 18: Big Ev- Demon Deacon, Wake Forest (ACC)
- Grade- 4 Our Fathers
Ev could not have come out and had a better 3 rounds in his draft debut, but this round is where he takes a step back. The ACC was down to slim pickings because everyone had drafted from there, so he didn’t need to go there here in the 4th. It is certainly a recognizable mascot and nickname but he takes a back seat to a long list of large headed human mascots. This pick is going to stick with Ev for a while like he’s an alter boy.
Pick 19: WSD- Leprechaun, Notre Dame (Independent)
- Grade- Shot and a Beer
Notre Dame plays in anything college football. You won’t get any argument that getting the Leprechaun on the 4th is a good pick but I’m not going to drop a shot of Jamo in a Guinness and celebrate with Dave here. Chief said it best that the logo plays way better than the actual mascot. Where most mascots are fun and exciting, the Leprechaun comes off a little annoying. Its an improvement on Daves 3rd round selection though.
Pick 20: Eddie- Kansas Jayhawk, Kansas (Big 12)
- Grade- RockChalk, Jay-Hawful Pick
Somewhere along the lines Eddie forgot this was football specific. The Jayhawk just doesn’t play in the football mascot world. I don’t know why he can’t shine through Kansas being a trash football team but that’s what separates the Jayhawks and the Ottos of the world. That and a 7 foot Hakim Warrick wing span. Just like the Blue Devil, I fully understand the Jayhawk is a staple in the basketball world, but the specifics were clearly stated before pick 1.1 and Blue Devil and Jayhawk almost guarantee Ed is off the vote.
Round 4- The complete mirror of round 3. Chief and Carl started it off great. Ed ended it very poorly. I think the quality of Chief and Carls picks coupled with the Deacon really does hurt Big Ev chances.
Round 5-
Pick 21: Eddie- Bucky the Badger, Wisconsin (Big 10)
- Grade- Sharp Cheddar
This is such a good 5th round pick but the weight of Eds 3rd and 4th rounds is really hitting him so he says his pick with no vindication. Its almost like he needs to be convinced it’s a good pick and when you’re in a place like that during the draft it means you already lost. There’s nothing Bucky could muster up to help Ed.
Pick 22: WSD- Traveler, USC (Pac-12)
- Grade- Used Condom
Dave already took a horse style mascot with Renegade, and where he hit there, he missed here. It just doesn’t play like Chiefs Ralphie and Boomer combo. I didn’t know the USC mascot’s name was Traveler until studying up to grade this draft. Dave had much better options in the Big 12. 5th round picks don’t really ever hurt a team, but they can propel you. This does not propel Dave in any way.
Pick 23: Big Ev- Albert and Alberta Gator, Florida (SEC)
- Grade- Chomp Chomp
Ev is a 4th round pick away from having a stranglehold on this draft. Al and Alberta are a phenomenal 5th round duo to grab. Ev gets the not often found female mascot on his team. The Gator Chomp that comes with them is iconic. They also have a standalone look as animal mascot costumes go. Big Ev got tons of value in his picks today.
Pick 24: Carl- Aubie the Tiger, Auburn (SEC)
- Grade- B-
Safe 5th round pick. Aubie can is a poor man’s Cosmo with stripes. He’s the second best tiger of the draft but the first costume Tiger so there is some separation, but still 4th on the overall tiger board behind Tony, Tigger and Mike. Sometimes Carl wows with his 5th round pick. This is his second draft in a row where his final pick doesn’t take him over the top. Still a legitimate contender.
Pick 25(Mr. Irrelevant): Chief- Herbie Husker, Nebraska (Big 10)
- Grade- Missionary Sex
That grade comes from Carl’s reaction to this pick. “Missionary sex to end an exciting night” and he’s so right. This was an exciting draft for Chief, and Herbie is definitely like finishing into a solo cup. But Chiefs counter was also perfect, missionary sex is still good. Herbie played way better two decades ago, but the name Nebraska will always ring loudly in college football so it looks fine on a graphic. I wish Chief sealed himself a win with his pick here but he didn’t.
Instant reaction after hearing Ed read off the lists is that Chief had an incredible draft. If the Burrata Gang shows out for him he can very much win this draft. That isn’t eliminating Carl and Ev in any way however. Both Carl and Ev are very much in play here. I think the graphic is going to really give Evs team a solid look where I don’t know if Chiefs translates to the graphic as much, although Sebastian and Herbie help him a lot. Carl comes off strong post listen, post breakdown and I think will have a clean graphic, so that bodes well for him. Ed is off the vote, I do not think his team even compares to the other 4. WSDs team is fine but it doesn’t give him a chance to win the draft. Evs team gets nothing but love from me but the Deacon takes him down a notch for me personally, doesn’t mean he can win. Carl having Otto on his team really makes me want to vote for him, but as of now, pre-graphic (sometimes more potent than the real graphic) Chief gets my vote. I appreciate the entire body of work he put together. When Chief shines I think it shines so much brighter than the other guys because it’s so rare in the draft, but Chief was a star today. We will see what the graphic brings.
MY HONORABLE MENTIONS-
Big Al. Not having Alabama on a college football list is a miss. Elephants are awesome too.
Hawaii and the Rainbow Warriors Haka Dance is a tradition unlike any other.
TCU has played the Horned Frog into prominence and he deserved to be on the list.
Eastern Carolinas Pirate.
The Boise State Bronco running out on the blue field is badass.
