Celebrity Forced to use Notes App Amid Backlash from Twitter Eggs Who Have Never Made A Mistake

So earlier today (insert celebrity name here) issued a completely sincere, off the cuff, organic apology on (insert social platform here) for their actions from (insert how many years ago).

Said celebrity had received so many negative mentions from accounts like ‘@John1077490’ and ‘@OrangeManBad2020’ and was also feeling the pressure of potentially missing out on their next multi million dollar deal, that they could no longer stay silent. So they handed their phone over to their publicist team who drafted a well worded apology to calm rabid social media users and move on from this incredibly difficult time in their tough life.

To the delight of the celebrity, there were waves of users, who the famed person will never once meet and does not actually care about in any way, who accepted the apology and granted their forgiveness. It takes a big person to accept an apology, it takes an even bigger person to accept one, about something that doesn’t even remotely involve them, over social media. Now the famous public figure can return to their luxurious life of riches without the black cloud of social media hate hanging over their gigantic head and will not longer have to worry about raking in their next fortune.

However, some users weren’t so open to accepting the apology. There were many who tweeted ‘I still don’t forgive them!’ and golly does that take some courage. To step out on a limb and not accept the apology from someone who doesn’t know you even exist is a level of bravery I will never be able to comprehend.

After issuing the apology, the celebrity then went on to promote their newest project (insert name of movie/album/bottle of alcohol) and the masses are just so excited for it. Before the apology there was no way they were going to consume anything new that the celebrity would make, not even by themselves in the confines of their own living. However now, after reading the notes app apology, they are just giddy with excitement.

In a society filled of bad news, it’s always nice to see someone get a win. So when a world famous, mega rich, beloved human, no different than you or I, gets to finally break the chains from social media hate, I can’t help but smile. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering they were going through while deciding whether or not to issue an apology, so when it finally reaches a point where it has become forced out of them via diminishing public opinion, you just feel for them. You feel for everyone really. You for (insert celebrity), you feel for (insert person they wronged), and you feel the worst for the social media users who’s lives this whole ordeal effected.

We can all just be thankful now that the notes app exists, because with the notes app there is always a new day on the horizon.