65 drafts from Farmers Insurance and the guys from Chicago now bid farewell to their version of the Milton Office. Before diving into the draft, Ed, Carl, Chief and WSD deserve a huge congrats. What they have done since birthing Barstool Chicago is incredible and their rise has been something very cool to watch. Four regular ass dudes who both hilarious and talented, and who love sports and their city just grinding their balls off. The new and improved digs are more than deserved and we can only expect the content these guys produce will only get better. Enjoy the new office fellas!
A perfect way to close the office was a four man draft that had zero contention, just 24 picks of hilarious nostalgia. Yeah, I said 24. A bonus 6th round because there are so many amazing viral videos they needed to get one more pick in each. This was such a fun draft to listen to and even better to watch.
Round 1
Pick 1: WSD, Leroy Jenkins (18m views)
Grade- GOD DAMMIT WSD
Dave just Leroy Jenkins-ed right into this draft. Leroy had me torn when the topic was announced. I knew it had first round level value. The specific moment where LJ is yelled and the reaction is absolutely hysterical. But it is a slow build to get there and it is just not my personal favorite video. I’m not questioning WSD taking it 1.1 because I did Leroy Jenkins right away, I just wouldn’t draft it as my first pick when the whole internet of videos is at my fingertips.
Pick 2: Carl, Boom Goes The Dynamite (11m views)
Grade- Passes It To The Man
It was really cool how Carl made an awesome pick and Chief bummed us all out by informing us that this video basically broke this kid and he became a hermit. But anyways, awesome pick. I had not watched the full clip in a long time but boy is it three TOUGH minutes for ole buddy. Through the ashes rises a phoenix though and in this case it was dynamite exploding through verbal diarrhea.
Pick 3: Chief, Alabama Leprechaun (3.4m views)
Grade- SAY YEAH!
WHO ELSE HERE THINK CHIEF GOT 1.1 SAY YEAH?! Possibly one the funniest cast of characters packed into 2 minutes of new coverage in the history of news coverage. The say yeah guy may get the shine but the crackhead lady, the guy with the flute and the guy with the back hoe are all award winning interviews. And the sketch. Oh the sketch. The fact the news station showed the sketch makes me think they knew how funny the segment was going to be and they went all in. Respect.
Pick 4: Eddie, Goin’ To DJai’s In My Car (1.6m views)
Grade- Ryder
Ya gotta be smilin’. Ya gotta be draftin’. Ya gotta be shakin’ that ass. Is this a first round pick? Probably not. But it is a deep draft and Ed is a ryder through and through so Ed went and got his man. If he hits on the wrap around he should still be able to have an awesome draft board. Just because this video may not be first round caliber does not mean it isn’t pure gold. 5 guidos that make the jersey shore look like minor leagues all packed into what I assume is a either a honda civic or volkswagon passat with a spoiler, couldn’t script it if you tried.
Round 1: This is going to be an awesome draft. These videos are all so damn funny.
Round 2
Pick 5: Eddie, I Like Turtles (68m views)
Grade- 1000 Yard Stare
I put a red flag on this kid the second I saw this video but I digress. My man with the zombie face paint and 1000 yard stare has zero regard for you silly questions but god damn does he like turtles. Ed got a personal favorite and then landed a massively viral video. Nice wrap around.
Pick 6: Chief, Latarian Milton (14m views)
Grade- 2 Mail boxes, 2 Parked cars & 2 moving vehicles
Chiefs just trying to do hoodrat things with his friends. Chief is 2 for 2 so far. Just like Chief, Latarion doesn’t care about what people think or say, he is just going take what his heart tells him to take. In this case, it was his grandmother dodger durango keys off the counter.
Pick 7: Carl, Put The Team On His Back (16m views)
Grade- BRRRRERERERUPT.
Lets go inside the mind of a Barstool Carl. BRRREREREUPT. “Dog i gotta draft this shit. Put chicago on my fuckin back doe. My leg broke, i dont know how the fuck im draftin right now doe….Oh no Red Ed. The hardest hitting dictator in podcasting. But i put chicago on my back doe. Win the poll. For chicago…..FUCK YOU WSD!”…..THe original twitch stream. One of the funniest play breakdowns in the history of sports, real or E. Phenomenal pick.
Pick 8: WSD, Antoine Dodson; Hide Ya Kids, Hide Ya Wife (78m views)
Grade- They Rapin’ Everybody
The most viewed video drafted so far and great 2nd round value for WSD. Antoine Dodson was dying for a camera to get stuck in his face and he did not miss his opportunity. Guy was star and he knew it, just needed his shot. And it was because someone was out there rapin’ errybody.
Round 2: I mean there is no picking a winner until round 6. Eight amazing videos off the board. I can’t stop laughing.
Round 3
Pick 9: WSD, Leave Brittany Alone (5m views)
Grade- She’s A Human
Just like Dave’s first pick, huge video, but just not a personal favorite of mine. I know WSD sees Brittany as a person and nothing else. Dave has made 3 good picks, 2 of them just are not going to get my vote, but they very well could get a lot of votes.
Pick 10: Carl, FUCK YOU CODY! (41k views)
Grade- Cocky
Carl is so good at drafts he knew he could just add a personal favorite, of himself. And this was before he knew a bonus 6th round was coming. This was Carl 3rd round pick. He wanted it so bad he wasn’t going to let one of the other guys take it before the 5th round. A flex, a humblebrag and a borderline pander because a handful Chicago diehards are going to love it, all packed into one pick, Carl is best. Also, the pure passion and rage Carl exudes in the video is unreal. Sports, man.
Pick 11: Chief, Apparently Kid (51m views)
Grade- Apparently
I absolutely love this kid. This is one of the purest videos on the internet and it is so funny. The girl in the background could not stand that Noah Deck-Ritter wouldn’t give up the mic but who can blame him. My man has been watching the news every night with Gramps and although he has never been on live TV he could not have been more ready for it. Chief 3 for 3. Can he do it?
Pick 12: Eddie, Charlie Bit My Finger (885m views)
Grade- Tip A Tha Cap
Just look at that view count. Are you kidding me? The whole world has basically watch Charlie bit my finger. This is one of the deepest drafts to date. Getting Charlie in the 3rd round is crazy but who can question the 11 picks above? Not this guy.
Round 3: I love Chiefs board so far. Ed has drafted two huge ones after being a Ryder. I love Carl drafting himself. WSD has 3 big time videos they just are not for me personally.
Round 4
Pick 13: Eddie, Fuck It, I’ll Do It Live (1m views)
Grade- Loose Cannon
Bill O’Reilly is a psychopath. Talk about a man who absolutely fuckin hates a telepromter he can’t read. BR losing his mind over what seems to be something relatively small is so hilarious and to top it off the jacket toss at the end after the broadcast is over is laugh out funny. I just picture Red Ed in his new office feeling all the power….”I CANT READ THE SCREEN!..I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!…FUCK IT ILL DO IT LIVE…..Alright, Bang Bang. Welcome to the Dog Walk”
Pick 14: Chief, Aint Nobody Got Time For That (19m)
Grade- Cold Pop
I assume a cold pop is a popsicle so I cannot imagine going to grab a delicious popsicle and planning on returning to the couch to enjoy said popsicle and instead having to risk life and limb running through bronchitis filled smoke. Ill say it again, news videos are the best. Chief; 4 for 4.
Pick 15: Carl, Evolution of Dance (308m views)
Grade- Cut A Rug
A different style of video than what has been drafted so far but quite possibly the most impressive video off the board. Home boy kills it for 6 minutes. Just puts on an absolute CLINIC. I cannot imagine how well this guy cleans up at weddings. I mean if you can bring that arsenal to a wedding dance floor you are bringing whomever you want back to you hotel room, even the bride.
Pick 16: WSD, Sneezing Panda (4m views)
Grade- God Bless You
Funny at it simplest form. You’re watching this Panda just thinking how cute it is to see this precious baby sleep as its gigantic mother munches away, and the BOOM. The biggest, most powerful sneeze known to man kind. Mom was SHOOK. But after the hullabaloo, baby goes back to sleep and mom keeps munching. Love the pick WSD.
Round 4: 16 picks. All great. I love drafts like this.
Round 5
Pick 17: WSD, Virgin Kiss (9m views)
Grade- GROSS
Leave the stop watch at home if you’re the groom. I did not remember this video but what a clip. Utterly ridiculous. That kiss is the most ridiculous kiss I have ever seen and those two should have been arrested on the spot.
Pick 18: Carl, Pete Weber; I AM! (7m views)
Grade- THATS RIGHT
One of my all time favorite sports clips. There has never been a reaction in sports like Petes here. My brother and I seem to just randomly pull up this video a few times a year. Just a pure emotional black out that bred one of the most iconic lines ever yelled.
Pick 19: Chief, Forever Wedding Entrance (101m views)
Grade- I Do
Aside from the fact this started every wedding since needing some for of entrance into the reception it is a really cool video. A first of its kind. So big it got an Office tribute. The third video off the board with a 9 figure views count. It also fits Chief. Nice pick.
Pick 20: Eddie, Shovel Girl (6m views)
Grade- DOINK!
Hall of Fame noise. I can close my eyes and hear that shovel clanking off my girls head. And credit to Ed. This would have been an absolute walk off Mrs. Irrelevant if not for the bonus round. I was laughing as hard as Chief was when Ed announced it because I did not think of this video. Amazing pick.
Round 5: WE ARE GETTING A BONUS ROUND!
Round 6
Pick 21: Eddie, My New Haircut (5m views)
Grade- JAGERBOMBS
Ed announced he chose this over Grape Lady and I just cannot believe it. If Ed closed out this draft with Shovel Girl/Grape Lady he wins. Now its anyone ball game. My New Hair Cut has its place in the viral video ranks, but Ed could have gotten better.
Pick 22: Chief, Masshole Thanksgiving (19k views)
Grade- Now Thats Not Very Nice
This video should be wayyyy more viral than it is. When the camera pans to a old man who is nothing more than skin and bones standing as someone tells him they are going to put him through a wall is just about as funny as it gets. I dont know if this pick is going to lock Chief of the draft, but he can most certainly win….or finish in second.
Pick 23: Carl, Put It In Reverse Terry! (3m views)
Grade- Oh Terry!
I mean this is why Carl wins drafts. This could have been taken in the first round and I would have loved it, instead Carl gets in the extra round. Just all time commentating as Terry sits engulfed in fireworm smoke and probably newly deaf. What a pick by Carl.
Pick 24(Mrs. Irrelevant): WSD, Miss Teen South Carolina (71m views)
Grade-Shower Didn’t Take
Mrs. Tean South Carolina,, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.
What a draft. There are certain drafts where there is no arguing or contention and they are the best. And not that the other side of the coin is not great as whale, but when every pick is just loved by everyone and it is a full blown laugh fest from “Alright, Bang Bang” to Mr. Irrelevant they are so much fun. This draft was just that. Going back and watching these videos was a trip down memory lane and listening to the 4 of them laugh their asses off at all the picks is just as good. WSD had a great draft, just did have some of my favorites so he will probably not get my vote. As for the other 3, I am still not sure. Carl adding himself to the board is such a power move I can’t help but love it, especially after maybe making the pick of the draft in round 6. Ed and Chief both drafted incredible boards but I just like Chiefs a little better. It is going to be hilarious is Chief suggesting a 6th round is what lands him in 2nd place. Bon Voyage Famers.
