The Chicago 5 (maybe one day they’ll do a 6 man draft with Neil). Big Cat, father of 2, and the father of Barstool Chicago, joined his sons for an Ice Cream Draft. Full blown wild wild west ice cream draft. Gloves off, no holds barred, prison rules ice cream draft. Ed was so in for the no rules draft and he immediately realize he wrote a check his ass couldn’t cash. Big time back fire. But I loved this draft. One of those draft where you need to go a full 5 for 5, no misses, all absolute stunner picks to win. There are going to be stacked boards and it is going to take the perfect draft to win this one. I was salivating listening and enjoyed a nice mug of Friendly chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough with a brownie crumbled over the top.
Draft Order: 1. Eddie 2. Chief 3. Carl 4. WSD 5. Big Cat
Round 1
Pick 1: Eddie, Chipwich Ice Cream Sandwich
Grade- Oh No.
You never want to fudge up your first round pick. You DEFINITELY do not want to actively choose the first overall slot and fudge up your first pick. Unfortunately that is what Ed did here. First things first, Chipwhic is not the 1.1 to represent ice cream, but even more important, is that Ed specified it was a freestyle draft, leaving all options open and he chose the inferior Ice Cream Cookie sando. The Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich is the elite cookie sandwich. Chipwhich may be the official name, but the Tollhouse version is by far the better cookie sandwich. Ed has 9 picks to think about how he won’t be on the poll.
Pick 2: Chief, Reeses Cup DQ Blizzard
Grade- BlizzySZN
The DQ Blizzy is the cream of the crop for fast food ice cream. It trumps the McFlurry and Frosty, both of which are also delicious. The Blizzy is just a Rolls Royce while the others are a very nice Mazda or Kia. Do I go into DQ and say to myself, “Alright let’s mix up this time and try a different flavor”? Yes. Do I also always end up getting the Reeses Cup Blizzy every time? Yes. Reeses Cups and Ice Cream are just a match made in heaven. Great start for Chief.
Pick 3: Carl, Rocky Road Ice Cream
Grade- Also Eds Ice Cream Draft
Big time stand out name in the ice cream world. It’s unique and specific to ice cream and stands alone among other flavors and names. Rocky Road is going to draw eyes to Carl board, but it also has the potential to immediately drive people away. Whereas I love the mix of everything in rocky road, it has elements in it that people do not like. Not a nut person? Probably not getting RR. Not a marshmallow person? Not getting RR. Rocky Road has first road value but I think it needs a solid supporting cast around it.
Pick 4: WSD, Reese’s Peanut Butter and Chocolate
Grade- Great IC, Poor execution
Like I said with Chiefs pick, anything Reese’s Cup and ice cream is right up my alley so I love this ice cream, but I thought Dave did a very poor job of backing his pick. He just kept blurting out Reese’s PB and Chocolate, and although I knew what he was referring to, you need to get into detail if you are going with this style of ice cream. There are endless PB and Chocolate ice cream brands and the pick he made has a very recognizable and eye appealing carton, but Dave is so set on his picks in drafts being correct that he doesn’t take the time to explain why, he just wants you to blindly agree.
Pick 5: Big Cat, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup McFlurry
Grade- Machine is Down
The McFlurry absolutely has the stuff to go toe to toe with the Blizzy. Unlike myself, there are going to be those who have the McFlurry ranked higher than the Blizzy. So since Big Cat lost out the Blizzy I have no problem with him going McFlurry here. Funny thing about McFlurrys, is i think the PB Cup, Oreo and Butterfinger are all on a level playing field. Where like I mentioned above, its rare for me to order anything but a PB Cup Blizzy, but when it comes to a McFlurry there are 3 in play that I might order.
Round 1- I had my big board, but ultimately I had no idea where round 1 was going to go with the randomness on the table in this draft. I think Ed tripped on his way out to the podium and is now absolutely reeling, while the other 4 guys got first round creams. It’s no surprise the first round was heavy PB Cup.
Round 2
Pick 6: Big Cat, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Grade-
Cookie dough moves the needle. CCCD is a household ice cream. A first round ice cream if we are going hard ice creams alone. A vanilla base CCCD is the standard but I personally prefer the chocolate based versions. I have a different ice cream still on the board that holds my top spot for vanilla based hard ice cream, but that doesn’t mean CCCD didn’t come off the board in the correct spot. Big Cat would not get this with his third round pick so he had to take it here if he wanted it.
Pick 7: WSD, Portillos Chocolate Cake Shake
Grade- Sounds Great
This sounds like an incredible ice cream treat. I have never had Portillos so I cannot weigh in on it, but it sure sounds delicious. In a wide open draft like this it is tough to go regional in the second round though. If it’s WSD’s absolute favorite I won’t question his loyalty to the Cake Shake, but I think he was better suited to wait until the later rounds to snag this.
Pick 8: Carl, ChocoTaco
Grade- Muy Bien
ChocoTaco is my 1.1 from the ice cream truck freezer box menu (Not including soft serve cones). It is such a unique ice cream experience. It’s a taco, but it’s ice cream. Honestly it is a groundbreaking item in the ice cream world. Landing the ChocoTaco is a big get for Carl’s board.
Pick 9: Chief, Drumstick
Grade-
A staple in the freezer growing up. A perfect ice cream snack. That final little treat when you get down to the chocolate filled tip is just bliss. They also have mixed packs now so you can get a little more variety across the drumstick board, not that its needed, but I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy having the option of a little caramel swirl in the ice cream every now and then. Chiefs 2 for 2.
Pick 10: Eddie, Screwball
Grade- What Ed Was This Draft
I love the smooth consistency of a screwball. But outside of that there isn’t much that it brings to the table for me. The gumball may have been a bigger draw when we were younger, but if I wanted the gumball I was probably going with Spiderman. It’s an important item on the ICT menu so I won’t call it a bad pick, but it ain’t a good one.
Round 2- Chief, Carl and BC kept it rolling through round 2 where WSD and Ed fell further behind. Again, I am not questioning the deliciousness of
Round 3
Pick 11: Eddie, Ice Cream Sandwich
Grade- OG
Ed has entered the draft. I bet the ICS was the first ice cream treat outside of a bowl or cone ever invented. Just an absolute classic that has proved, despite its simplicity, that it is here forever. I like to get the ice cream edge a lick around before going in for bites. Leaves so wiggle room for when the ice cream inevitably moves towards the outside of the wafers. Great ice cream to have on your board, but might be too little too late for Ed.
Pick 12: Chief, Rocket Pops
Grade- To The Moon
Chief gets an ice cream truck classic, a freezer staple and gets to showcase his love to popsicles all in one pick. I know deep down Chief wanted to take some sugar free fruit juice pop (also delicious) but knew a rocket pop was the correct way to add a popsicle. Savvy drafting. Chiefs variety is great so far.
Pick 13: Carl, Neapolitan Ice Cream
Grade- Chess
This is not a draft where taking simply chocolate or vanilla plays, but they are original two ice creams and this is an ice cream draft. I do see a reason to want to try and get them on your board, and Neopolitan is the way to do it. Just a deep level drafting you read about with Carl. Now I am not ordering a Neopolaitan out anywhere, but I think it is such a great ice cream to pair with a birthday cake.
Pick 14: WSD, Ben & Jerrys Half Baked
Grade- Love a Good BJ
Was waiting for a Ben & Jerrys to come off the board and Half Baked is certainly worthy of being the first one taken. If you are popping into a freezer to grab a pint of B&Js it is more than likely that it’s going to be Half Baked, or your atleast going to grab it and ready it even though you pretty much have the description memorized.
Pick 15: Big Cat, Twist Ice Cream Cone
Grade- Mt. Rushmore
A soft serve twist ice cream cone is on my Mt. Rushmore of ice cream. When im feeling extra frisky I get it dunked in the chocolate coating. You want to talk about food porn? Watch a large soft serve cone get dipped into the coating. Lordy. IMO this is first round value to close the third. Massive get for Dan.
Round 3- What a powerhouse round. A lot of times drafts are won and lost in the 3rd round but the guys went 5 for 5. They all improved their board. They all got a stand out ice cream.
Round 4
Pick 16: Big Cat, Ben & Jerrys Phish Food
Grade- It’s All One Pint
This is the obvious other B&J on the board and it pairs perfectly with Big Cats CCCD from round 2. Big didn’t need Half Baked, but getting Ben and Jerry on your board is big time for an ice cream draft. There is something special about grabbing a pint and knowing you are taking that bad boy down in one sitting when you get home.
Pick 17: WSD, DQ Peanut Buster Parfait
Grade- Que the ‘Lemmings’
All of the ice creams drafted are going to be delicious and going to be an ice cream I’d enjoy, but I just don’t think this ice cream makes a big splash in the late rounds that Dave needs. There are plenty of better choices out there and ones that will absolutely play better in you want to try and win a draft.
Pick 18: Carl, Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Cake
Grade- Woah.
Unreal 4th round value. The chocolate crumbles in a Carvel ice cream cake are to die for. Use them to cover my coffin. This is an out of the box pick and jumps off the graphic. You need to make voters gravitate to your line up and a ice cream cake does that.
Pick 19: Chief, Cookies & Cream Ice Cream
Grade- Scoop, There It Is
Oh Cark thought he was getting the best 4th round value? Well Chief has something to say about that. Cookies & Cream is a first round hard ice cream. Vanilla ice cream needs something, and the oreo cookies are just that. It is a great classical ice cream. Chief hadn’t got a hard ice cream on his board yet and this is a huge one to get. Chief is having a great draft.
Pick 20: Eddie, Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Grade- Brave
Ed didn’t hear no bell. This is my favorite hard ice cream. Big Cat could not be more correct when he says Mint Chip gets blasted in the internet streets though. It is a super controversial ice cream so this is a brave pick. Hey, I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like Mint Chip, more for me, shut your mouth. People who don’t like Mint Chip are like people who cross fit, they just tell you for no reason.
Round 4- Such great ice cream still flying off the board. This is a draft where you cannot slip up on a single pick because the boards are just ridiculously strong. For that reason WSD and Ed are still behind the 8 ball.
Round 5
Round 5
Pick 21: Eddie, Flinstones Push Pop
Grade- Yabba-Dabba-Dont
Well after two great picks in the 3rd and 4th, Ed comes back to earth. What a ridiculous pick. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula. I loved that you drafted PBJ and Grilled Cheese in the sammich draft but this ain’t it.
Pick 22: Chief, Coffee Ice Cream
Grade- Mature
This is one of those burrata style picks that Chief absolutely NAILS. Chief knew he was stepping out the ice cream comfort zone with this pick and I respect the hell out of it. Coffee Ice Cream is a delight. I love when there are some dark chocolate chunks in it. Take that shit to the next level holmes. Chief landed the fuck out this draft. Well done.
Pick 23: Carl, Wendy’s Frosty
Grade- Stay Frosty
Carl wanted Fast Food ice cream on the board and to be able to get frosty in the fifth round is just criminal. Dirt cheap and flat out delicious. Call me cliche but I absolutely dunk fries into the chocolate frosty. Love going to Wendys for a frosty and getting a 4 for $4 on the side. Carl will not let Chief win this thing without a fight.
Pick 24: WSD, Dippin’ Dots
Grade- He Is Trying to Lose
I think Dave tries to tank drafts sometimes. I will take a plain bowl of hard vanilla ice cream before I get an order of dippin dots. There is simply no setting I want dip and dots. Terrible pick. We are the lemmings though.
Pick 25 (Mr. Irrelevant): Big Cat, Snickers Ice Cream Bar
Grade- Relevant
I could eat a whole box. Snickers and Twix are just incredible candy bars turned ice cream. I would go back and forth between the two when I would pop into the bodega. 3 bites max. Big Cat is joining the fight, and its going to be a donnybrook on the polls.
Cannot understate how good of a draft Chief, Carl and Big Cat had. All three went top to bottom with winners. They basically made it impossible to choose. Each have variety. Each have uniqueness. Each have hall of farmers. One of the best drafts top to bottom by 3 drafters. Also, I can very much see why Ed and Dave wanted to square off. It was a contentious draft between two guys who thought they had good drafts when they didn’t. Those two got circles ran around them by the other 3. It was a very fitting way to get someone off the poll, and another thing that back fired on Ed this draft. Big Cat is going to get a huge vote from the AWLs and Carls Rocky Road/Neapolitan combo take a back seat to Chiefs Cookies and Cream/Coffee combo. So Chief is getting my vote, don’t even need to see the graphic. It was one of the best drafts he has had in a while. I dare Big Cat to eat all 25 of these over the weekend.
