I was on the road last Monday and Tuesday so the Chinese Food recap was delayed, much like a Seamless or Grubhub order. But I haven’t missed a draft recap since I started with the 1994 Movies and there is no looking back now. Now I don’t often get it, but I love a good chinese food order. There is something interesting about chinese food and the draft though, because most people have their go to order and do not often stray from it, so anything outside of that order may look like a bad pick. But chinese food is deep and there are a lot of delicious choices on the menu so you can build a very good board without getting all your go-tos. My solo order; General Tso’s w/ white rice, an egg roll and dumplings. With others in the mix you gotta add some goons and get a pint of lo mein for everyone to get in on. Chinese food is nice little meal when you are feeling bad about yourself and cannot decide what you want to eat and this draft was nice treat for my road trip to start last week.
Guests: Steven Cheah and West Viriginia Carl
Categories: 1 Entree, 1 Side, 1 Appetizer, 1 Experience & 1 Miscellaneous
Round 1:
Pick 1: WSD, Chicken Fried Rice (Side)
Grade: 3rd best fried rice
Yikes. Just not a first overall pick. Pork fried rice and shrimp fried rice are both superior to chicken fried. And don’t give me the “the shrimp could be gross” argument. Chinese food shrimp is just frozen baby shrimp that any restaurant gets. They are way less questionable than whatever chicken they are using. Don’t question WSDs drafts though
Pick 2: Steven Cheah, General Tso’s Chicken (Entree)
Grade: 1.1
The General would have been my 1.1 pick for this draft. I think if given the option I would have taken first overall and built my menu around General Tsos. It has so much more flavor than the other chickens. The broccoli is great. The sauce soaks the white rice. It is the best thing on the chinese food menu.
Pick 3: Eddie, Sesame Chicken (Entree)
Grade: General Tso’s Light
I feel like once you pick your Chinese order, you don’t often switch it up too much. I personally just do not order sesame chicken. I never have, don’t think I ever really will. Just not in my Chinese food rotation. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have first round value though. Sesame chicken is a staple in Chinese food there is nothing wrong with building your board around it.
Pick 4: Chief, Pointing at the Menu (Experience)
Grade: I’ll Have The, Uh, …..
If you have eaten at a Chinese food place, whether upscale or trashy, you felt this pick. Little bit of communication gap, but a full understanding of how the ordering process is going to go. It’s kind of a mouthful of a menu, let me just point to what I want. This was not at the top of my experiences, but I do like the pick.
Pick 5: Nick Taurani, Opening a Fortune Cookie (Experience)
Grade: Lucky Numbers; 3, 14, 22, 51, 79
Quite possibly the 1.1 of experiences. I enjoy the fortune cookie itself too. I like to clean the palate after meals, especially Chinese food, and the fortune cookie does just that. They are marble now too so you get a little chocolate wafer as whale. Even if you do not eat the cookie you open the cookie though. It truly epitomizes an experience that you only get with Chinese food.
Round 1: I do not like how Dave started off the draft, but what’s new. I think Chief stretched with his pick in the first round. Cheah grabs my attention right away because he took my 1.1 but drafts are not won in the first round.
Round 2:
Pick 6: Nick Taurani, Crab Rangoon (Appetizer)
Grade: Goon’d Up
Feels right that Nick was the one to draft Goons. The Wonton Don loves his Goons and Don and Nick are two scuzz bros just traveling to the beautiful parts of this beloved country together. I go dumplings over Goons when I’m solo but I love a good goon order. No staying power though, I need to eat them the night of.
Pick 7: Chief, Potstickers (Appetizer)
Grade: Steamed
I call them dumplings, but either way, gimmie a dozen. I love that in NYC you can just go to a dumpling place for lunch. Just get a bunch of dumplings. Its incredible. This is what makes these drafts great, Cheah drafts a favorite entree, Chief drafts a favorite app. You really never know where you are going to send your vote until the 25th pick.
Pick 8: Eddie, Egg Rolls (Appetizer)
Grade: Always Room for One
I don’t know if I have ever ordered Chinese food and not gotten an egg roll. It is just a staple with the order. It’s far from my favorite thing but no matter how full I am, I always eat the egg roll. Egg Roll is absolutely something you want on your board for this draft.
Pick 9: Steven Cheah, Using Chopsticks (Experience)
Grade: Not Chinese
That grade is obviously not serious as I will defer to the half Chinese gentleman for what is and isn’t Chinese, I just only use chop sticks for sushis, which I thought was Japanese. I don’t think of chopsticks when I get the traditional American Chinese food order. I love to use chopsticks for sushis, but thats about it. Was not on my board for experiences.
Pick 10: WSD, Kung Pao Chicken (Entree)
Grade: Underrated
I don’t know if Kung Pao chicken is actually underrated, but it is really good and I simply never order it. It just is not an entree I am going with even though I know I enjoy it. It does have a cool name but I do not think many people are ordering Kung Pao when calling their local Chinese food spot.
Round 2: Nick, Chief and Eddie started this round off with 3 amazing picks, but Steven and WSD did not hold serve. Cheah and WSD need to nail this 3rd round wrap around to get back in the mix.
Round 3:
Pick 11: WSD, Leftovers (Experiences)
Grade: Add a little water
WSD always knocks a pick out of the ball park and boosts his board, and this was that pick. Leftovers was not even on my experiences radar and it may be the best of the bunch. I think I fall into a weird zone where I love Chinese food leftovers but also agree with Nick that they stink. Chinese food leftovers are weird, but they are also something I look forward to. I love this pick by Dave.
Pick 12: Steven Cheah, Lo Mein (Side)
Grade: More Like High Mein
Lo Mein is incredible. I really think WSD got shafted with not being able to get this an entree because a full pint of Lo Mein is very much an entree. I have not got it in ages but i used to love mall Lo Mein. Lo Mein is also a top not left over. Pairing Lo Mein with the General is a big time combo.
Pick 13: Eddie, Mongolian Beef (Misc.)
Grade: Beef, Its Not What For Dinner Tonight
I could listen to Ed say Mongonlian over and over again so despite me never really having Mongolain Beef I kind of love the pick.
Pick 14: Chief, Shrimp Fried Rice (Side)
Grade: Best Fried Rice
You tellin me a shrimp fried this rice? SFR is the best of the fried rices. I think pork is the standard but Shrimp is my favorite. I am also torn when ordering because I love white rice but the sauce so a shrimp fried rice side order is fat, but also needed.
Pick 15: Nick Taurani, Orange Chicken (Entree)
Grade: Pass
Just a super boring entree. Does not move the needle at all. Those two words just do not go together and sound good. Orange chicken is a minor league lifer.
Round 3: Huge bounce back pick from WSD and Cheah while the other 3 really did not do anything to pull away. Chief is in the best position to close out the draft strong for a win.
Round 4:
Pick 16: Nick Taurani, Beef & Broccoli (Misc.)
Grade: Wrong Meat
I am a chicken and broccoli guy, but I won’t let the beef take away from the value Nick gets here in the 4th round. Chinese food broccoli is great and Beef and Broccoli is a solid safe order. Chicken and Broccoli is a good lunch special order, where General Tso’s is getting ordered for dinner.
Pick 17: Chief, Full Crispy Chicken (Misc.)
Grade: No Bones
Aside from your pizza place/bar chicken wings, I do not care for bone in chicken, just kind of skeeves me out. Maybe from a nice sit down chinese restaurant this is good, but not from a take out spot. It is also just pretty generic for this draft so I do think it will impact a draft board.
Pick 18: Eddie, White Rice (Side)
Grade: 100 on the Black
I do not know how something so simple can be so good, but white rice with chinese food is absolutely necessary. Soaks up the sauce, goes perfectly with every bite of food, and offers a safe haven bite for if you ate a little too much spicy mustard on your egg roll. Eddie getting White Rice and Egg Rolls is big time.
Pick 19: Steven Cheah, Boneless Spare Ribs (Appetizer)
Grade: McRib
These are not for me but I have friends who love them. I go dumplings, some people go spare ribs and there is nothing wrong with that. I think 4th round is reasonable spot for them and it is a fine pick.
Pick 20: WSD, Chinese Chicken Wings (Appetizer)
Grade: Chickity China
Where I would not have any interest in Chiefs bird, chinese chicken wings are something I can get down with. I have never ordered them from a chinese place, I stick to bars for my wings mostly, but I am sure they are good.
Round 4: I loved Chiefs board until the full bird went on it. Ed has 3 big time picks on his board. Steven Cheah is pulls in me in and then pushes me away.
Round 5:
Pick 21: WSD, Sichuan Chicken (Misc.)
Grade: No Integrity
There is a big time difference between picking an MLB stadium you haven’t gone to and blindly picking a chinese food entree that you have never even heard of outside of a quick pre 5th round google. I think Sichuan Chicken is great so I am not hating on the pick, but I will hate on how Dave drafts and that he thinks he is a good drafter when he just is not.
Pick 22: Steven Cheah, Peking Duck (MIsc.)
Grade: Ducks Fly Together
Duck is delicious meat so I bet this is a great meal. Like I have said a few times so far, I have never gone to a chinese restaurant, just take out, but I would imagine meals like Peking Duck are incredible. I dont know if Peking Duck is winning Cheah a draft, and after General Tso his board was not great, so he need a bigger splash here.
Pick 23: Eddie, Being In Awe Of the Giant Menu (Experience)
Grade: So Big
A chinese menu is the largest menu in the history of food and words. I do not know how it is so big. How are there even that many options that a restaurant can prepare at a given moment. It’s remarkable really. I actually think it plays into the fact that a lot of people have their usual order because it is kind of a chore to read through the menu. Aint nobody got time for that. But this is an awesome 5th round pick.
Pick 24: Chief, Fried Pork Belly (Misc.)
Grade: No Thank You
Anything with Belly does not sound super appetizing to me, but anything fried is also good, so I won’t throw any hate Chiefs way. I won’t be voting for him with these 4th and 5th round picks, but not a terrible draft for chief.
Pick 25(Mr. Irrelevant): Nick Taurani, Wonton Soup (Side)
Grade: Fill In The Cracks
I love Chinese soups. They even after getting delivered they are 1000 degrees so you have to pop the top and let them cool, but all soups are great. The little crisps that come with them are so good to drop in. Big time move to grab the soup vote with Mr. Irrelevant.
Usually after 25 picks I have 2 two boards that I have honed in on and am deciding on who to vote for. Occasionally a third comes in to play. Sometimes one board is the clear winner. This was my first draft that I have recapped where I actually do not have a board I really like. I think all 5 have some great items. I think most of the food draft was all delicious. But no one put together a board that really stands out to me. Eds board doesn’t have much flash to it but it is the list that I do think represent a Chinese food draft. Nick winning is not surprising though since he was technically Carl.
