I was absolutely stoked for this draft topic guest combo. Anyone and everyone who gets a puppy loves to claim they’re a dog expert, but I actually am. Just kidding, not an expert, but I have extensive experience working with all sorts of dog breeds as well as a pretty vast knowledge of their habits and tendencies, training them, etc. I fucking love them. Would rather spend my days with them than humans. 24 of the 25 breeds drafted I have had as clients over the years, among many good boys and girls who were in the honorable mentions or not even mentioned. So again, I’m no expert, but I know my stuff. *Inserts Chaps* The former military dog handler. I was training Harold not to pull while he is on the leash while Chaps was training SYKA how to sniff for bombs. Chaps is the big leagues. Has trained hundreds of dogs and people. I was so pumped to listen to his stories, tips and nuggets and oh buddy it was everything I was hoping for. Chaps is an endless pit of knowledge and I could have listened to talk about dogs hours. Eddie, WSD and Chief not knowing who Baby Dale Woo Hoo is was just terrible decorum and an ugly way to start the draft but they rebounded. Another amazing draft all around. Let’s talk some pup.
*NO grades this week. All dogs are 12/10. To replace grades, there will be a shelter link for each pick*
Draft Order:
- Chief 2. Carl 3. WSD 4.Eddie 5. Chaps
ROUND 1
Pick 1: Chief, Labrador Retriever
Absolute goofball of a dog. 3 color ways, all equally great. Their body evolves like a power hitting DH. Start off young and athletic chasing balls in the OF and then by the end of their career they added about 30 pounds and grab the helmet and bat when in their turn to take some cuts.
Pick 2: Carl, Golden Retriever
Classic breed. I like how they have a spectrum from a darker copper to the more traditional blonde. They are nutcases during their adolescence and are just as goofy as Labs. No surprise these two are off the board right away. The Trevor Lawrence of the draft.
Pick 3: WSD, German Shepherd
Dave stealing Hitlers favorite breed right from Eds fingertips. German Shepherds are an absolutely majestic looking dog and are very much first round value. I think Dave is going to say every breed is smart and athletic.
Pick 4: Eddie, English Bulldog
Bulldogs are a steal the show dog. A bulldog walks into the room and everyone’s focus is now on the bulldog. So ugly they are cute. Everything they do comes with an involuntary noise. Head moves like they are permanently in a neck brace. Short stocky guy linebacker who also plays on the basketball team and is way too aggressive on the boards.
Pick 5: Chaps, Belgium Malinois
Chaps was so excited for this pick and his passion for his first round pick was just jumping off the screen. You need a Belgium Malinois hype man? Chaps is your guy. I can’t even imagine the love you have for breed when you literally go to war with them.
Round 1: Chaps certainly stands out but non-listeners won’t fully understand the awesomeness of this pick. The other 4 first rounders are household names so hopefully this doesn’t wrongfully put Chaps behind the 8-ball on the graphic.
ROUND 2
Pick 6: Chaps, Australian Shepherd
One of the smartest, sharpest dogs I have ever encountered. Much smarter than a lot of humans I know. That flowing cloud of a multicolored coat and their beautiful eyes. They have unlimited energy. Watching them herd things is awesome. Point Guard who commands the court.
Pick 7: Eddie, St. Bernard
Ed just pumping me with photoshop material. Iconic large breed dog. Barrel around the neck. Head the size of a microwave. If you want to get a unit on the list you can’t go wrong with Beethoven. Guy will clog up the run game.
Pick 8: WSD, Boxer
Hilarious eyes. Boxers eyes have always killed me. To go back to the SandMan draft, they can kind of have a Crazy Eyes look to them when they are going full tilt. A sleek looking body and a face only a mother could love. Boxers are awesome. First Wide Receiver off the board.
Pick 9: Carl, Siberian Husky
Carl is just a professional drafter and despite him clearly loving all dogs he understands this is a draft and he needs to build a pack that can give him a chance to win. Huskies have more personality than they even know what to do with so they literally talk at you. Some of the most beautiful eyes in the game. Husky is going to garner alot of votes.
Pick 10: Chief, Coonhound
I love unique coats; coonhounds have just that. Almost like a snowflake, each Coonhounds coat is slightly different in its own way. I love the brindle mixed in with solid colors. I am glad Chief’s guy got back to him in round 2. There are a lot of dog breeds, and taking Chiefs coonhound before him in round two would have made a very upbeat draft quite contentious.
Round 2: I Love this round so much. Not that I didn’t love the first round but I just cant get enough of the strength of this round top to bottom. I think this is going to be my favorite round of the draft.
ROUND 3
Pick 11: Chief, Greater Swiss Mountain Dog
Chief list is now THICCC with three Cs. Labs, Coonhound and these guys are all built like blocking tight ends. I kind of look at the GSMD as a short haired Bernese. They are a stunning looking dog but also have the doofy looking face to them. Love the pick.
Pick 12: Carl, French Bulldog
The bell of the ball for the small breed dogs in my opinion. Just ooze charisma. They walk around like they are big swinging dick in town. Undersized middle infielder with power.
Pick 13: WSD, Weimaraner
Regal breed. The fine blue coat is as nice as it gets. I used to walk two Weimaraner’s who were in Westminster. They were prim and proper when walking and playful and silly inside. A very cool breed.
Pick 14: Eddie, American Foxhound
The tall beagle. I consider the American Foxhound an underrated breed. I picture these guys bringing me back a duck even though i’ve never been duck hunting. Slot receiver type.
Pick 15: Chaps, Basset Hound
Big ear goofin. A cartoon character of a dog. I feel like Basset Hounds and their ears are like a set of very big tits. They are awesome for everyone else but probably a personal inconvenience. Their droopy eyes make them always look like they are just about to fall asleep. A very Chapsy dog.
Round 3: Carl and Chaps have the most diversity. Chief and Dave have a-lot of size. Eddies is kind of the odd ball team but I love all them just as much as Chief Lab or Carls golden.
ROUND 4
Pick 16: Chaps, Rhodesian Ridgeback
If you have never met a Ridgeback, that spine can be a little frightening, but it is such a unique and defining trait to a relatively simple looking breed. Chaps might once again get on the polls here bye the non-listeners. Ridgebacks are a foreigner winger with tattoos that you have never heard of.
Pick 17: Eddie, Chesapeake Bay Retriever
Wasn’t expecting Eddie to get funky with his list but this a great pick to follow up the Foxhound. Not a standard breed by any means so I was surprised to hear Ed makes this pick. Somewhere down the line a dog fucked a sheep and was born as the Chesapeake Bay Retriever.
Pick 18: WSD, Bernese Mountain Dog
Dave doesn’t seem like a little dog guy so it is not surprising hes building an XL pack. Berners are in my top 5 breeds for me as they are in my family, so this is incredible value to me. They are teddy bears. They have massive mits. A gentle giant.
Pick 19: Carl, German Shorthaired Pointer
The GSP spotted coat is beautiful. GSP puppies are another top ranked puppy for me. Between their ears, head and legs they have comical proportions when they are growing and that color pattern on a puppy just hits even more. They have super active beaks which is a pretty funny trait for dogs. Will not be shy to lift up that wrist with their nose and work their way into some pets.
Pick 20: Chief, Vizsla
Chief really went out of the box with his last two picks and both have been great. Vizsla sounds like a sports car and these pups kinda fit the mold. Lean, shimmering coats. Move like wind. They do have a hilarious puppy face but have a glow up when they go from awkward to tall, dark and handsome.
Round 4: Up until this round there was a lot of house hold breeds and that wasn’t the case this round. Some different breeds in this grouping and everyone made an awesome pick.
ROUND 5
Pick 21: Chief, Dachshund
Funny little guys. Watching them run through slightly tall grass is a show in itself. Their legs and body just make no sense and it is great.
Pick 22: Carl, Corgi
Carls small breeds are just full of Moxie. Corgi just strut around wiggling that donk. A corgi and frenchie walk into the dog park together and they might run the whole place when things are all said and done.
Pick 23: WSD, Rottweiler
One of the cutest puppies in the game. Just next level adorable when they are young and transform into this magnificent specimen as they grow up. A 2 or 3 year old male Rotty is just as handsome as they come.
Pick 24: Eddie, GoldenDoodle
Shoutout Duncan. A fine 5th round pick for a “not a ‘not a dog guy’ guy”. The hypoallergenic is a trait people love and they have had their boom as a breed over the past decade.
Pick 25 (Mr. Irrelevant): Chaps, King Corso
You can’t just throw King onto anything but the guys are Kings. They are huge from the day they are born. Just a beast of a breed. A well trained King Corso (or breed like them) is so cool. They have so much face to mess around with and the big hanging jowls are so fun to play with. In no way is the King Corso irrelevant.
What an incredible draft. Chaps was just a joy to listen to. You cannot find those dog stories anywhere else in the Barstool ranks. He was such a perfect guest for todays draft. With that being said, I do not want to discredit the other guys draft. Carl has quite an amazing family photo with his 5 picks. Eddie has 3 dogs that very much move the needle. WSD has a large breed lovers team. And Chief once again has had a great draft that I think will go under appreciated. Chaps dominated the draft from a listeners stand point, but I don’t know if it will reflect on the graphic as much. Of all my breakdowns I am truly at a loss for who I am voting for. Each pack has so many meaningful breeds to me. This is actually tearing at my heartstrings. What am I doing. This a podcast snake draft. Dogs Man.
