Mets Billionaire Owner, Steve Cohen, “Just Trying to Make a Living”
New Mets owner, Steven Cohen, coming in at a 14.6 BILLION dollar net worth, has been the bell of the ball in New York. Uncle Stevie. The hedge fund billionaire here to save the day in Queens and make the Mets a World Series champion. He has been shaking babies and kissing hands since purchasing the Mets. Greeting fans in the Citi Field parking lot, saying all the right things in press conferences, logging on to twitter and giving the Mets faithful more lip service than a truck stop hooker. The money is great, the interaction with fans is a show, its got a sad and broken fan base rejuvenated. But there is a redeeming trait that is lost on most people today, and that is knowing when to read the room. And Steve Cohen just stepped into a room of millions of people, and had no fucking clue how to read it.
Twitter is currently a blaze with the hoopla of stock market madness that has captivated the attention of a lot of people, and rightfully so. I may never know the inner details of it all, but when it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck, its probably a duck. And right now the big wigs of wall street are looking like some god damn ducks. Steve Cohen is one of the big wigs and he seemingly is right in the thick of it. This lead to Barstool’s Dave Portnoy, who has been incredibly vocal in wanting answers for the clearly fraudulent activities coming from wall street today, to publicly call out Cohen on twitter.
Now if I am one of the hedge fund managers, the last thing I am doing is logging on to twitter today. I am jumping in the Benz, getting chauffeured to the air strip, boarding the PJ and island hopping for a month with my mistress. Go to some art show overseas, eat truffles and escargot, get a blood transfusion from some fit youth to keep you young. Whatever you billionaires do. But old Uncle Stevie chose the former. And now he went from Bruce Wayne to the Penguin.
With one click of the ‘send’ button Cohen went from likable owner to an insufferable, cringeworthy, arrogant, clueless moron. He decided to get into a twitter fight with a man who is literally undefeated in twitter fights, with one of the most out of touch lines I have ever read in my life. “IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING LIKE YOU.” Are you fucking kidding you numbskull? You and 14.6 bill stopped thinking about ‘making a living’ a lifetime ago. Your version of making a living is stacking your billions on more billions. Making a living rings so hollow in your tone deaf ears I cant even believe you even know that that is a saying anymore. He can stop himself, he continues to double down and keep tweeting. It is remarkable.
I can’t believe I even find myself giving advice to Steve Cohen, but here it is. Log off twitter. Get the fuck out of here. The fact you think poking your head out of your ivory tower and tweeting through this instead of just disappearing for a while is insanity. It shows you are fraud, you are fragile and you are so self obsessed from becoming the Mets owner you have lost any gauge as to when to take a back seat. Which is shocking, because you are probably always getting into the backseat when your personal driver opens the doors for you.
