One of the coolest nerds in the game, host of the podcast My Moms Basement and haver of a light saber forearm tattoo, Robbie Fox, joined the Chicago gang for this weeks draft. Robbie is a nerd and he is a proud one. And thats the best kind of nerd. Just like every other walk of life, Nerds have a wide spectrum. There is a large net that encompasses Nerds. Nerds can be cool as hell. Nerds can be absolute losers. Nerds can be overly smart. Nerds can be one of a kind. There are awesome nerds. There are terrible nerds. There are funny nerds. There are nerds who have made massive cultural impacts. There are nerds who are just simply nerds. If you do want to differentiate nerds I think Nerds and Geeks are the cool ones and Dweebs and Dorks are the lame ones. You love superheroes, collect action figures and go to comic con? You’re a nerd and that’s cool, lets watch Endgame together. You raise your hand as the bell about to ring and tell the teacher she forgot to assign homework? You are a dork and are not getting invited over after school to play ping pong and video games. The best part about nerds, the whole lot of them, is that they are unabashedly themselves. They do not care what you or anyone else thinks about the things they like and enjoy and you can take it or leave it. That trait is something that no bully or try-hard will ever be able to have and it is as respectable as it gets. Being a nerd is awesome and this draft was awesome.
Draft Order:
- Robbie Fox 2. WSD 3. Carl 4. Chief 5. Eddie
ROUND 1
Pick 1: Robbie, Stan Lee (Creator of MCU)
Grade- True Believer
I love this pick 3000. Robbie was ready for a totally different style nerd draft, and is such a good nerd that he was able to completely pivot and take an absolute home run of a first overall nerd. Stan Lee is a nerd pioneer. Creator of a universe that has absolutely flipped the script on being a nerd. Marvel Superheros are so fuckin cool and a nerd created them. Stan Lee is an absolute legend and was a perfect pick for Robbie to go with 1.1.
Pick 2: WSD, Darren Rovell (Sports Business Reporter)
Grade- Squid
Rovell is in the nerd grouping you don’t want to be in but you absolutely want him on your squad for this draft. You can get cool nerds up and down this draft, you can’t get a hated nerd like Rovell just anywhere. Rovell is such a dork. He plays both sides where he wants to be liked but loves to be picked on. It is the worst medium to live in. Rovell blocks you? Well guess what, I block Rovell. I dont give a shit what that dweeb has to say.
Pick 3: Carl, Bill James (Founder of Sabermetrics)
Grade- OBP
Nerds can’t play sports? Well Bill James found a way to place nerds right in the middle of something that they are traditionally left out of. Sabermetrics and analytics control how games are played and managed across all of sports. I do know how well this is going to play on the graphic but Bill James is a first round nerd.
Pick 4: Chief, Jim Levenstein (American Pie)
Grade- Warm Slice of Pie
His name might not play as much as others, but Jim is an all-time movie nerd. Jim is not a nerd because of his interests, he is not a nerd because of his grades, he is not a nerd for any particular reason, he is just a plain ole nerd. He has a best friend who is a great athlete, he has a best friend who is full of charisma, he has a best friend who is smart and Jim is just Jim. He is the invisible nerd. He doesn’t want to be the cool guy, he just wants to get laid before college.
Pick 5: Eddie, McLovin (SuperBad)
Grade- SuperGood
Unfortunately for Chief, the Jim pick gets immediately cucked. McLovin is the KING movie nerd. SuperBad is widely considered one of the best comedy films of all time. I think even if American Pie is your ‘formative movie’ SuperBad still topped it. McLovin was A+ all movie. He was a secondary character who stole the screen so much he became a star.
Round 1- Unreal diversity of nerds here. Chief and Eddie have the only ones that are similar and I think Ed wins that head to head, but basically everyone chose to build their squad around a different style of nerd.
ROUND 2
Pick 6: Eddie, Michael Cera (Actor)
Grade- Generational Nerd
Savvy draft move here by Ed. McLovin is the nerd to take from SuperBad name wise, and by following up with Michael Cera you still get SuperBad Cera, as well as all the other goofy ass Michael Cera rolls. Scott Pilgrim, George Michael Bluth, Juno. Cera absolutely dominates the nerd role in Hollywood and makes for a strong wrap around pairing for Ed.
Pick 7: Chief, Matthew Berry (Fantasy Football Reporter)
Grade- F
Matthew Berry is not nearly as hateable as Rovell but he definitely is not a cool nerd. There is a line you can walk where fantasy football is a fun way to trash talk with friends while you watch football and have some money on the line. It’s a great time. Matthew Berry takes that fun time and turns it into something pretty lame. When you have like 20 fantasy teams aren’t you basically just rooting for everyone? There is a way to be a nerd that is obsessed with something and also be cool, Matt Berry aint it.
Pick 8: Carl, Steve Urkle (Family Matters)
Grade- DID I DO THAT?!?
Throwback hall of fame nerd. I think Urkle transcends generations of nerds. Even those who may not know Family Matters still probably know Urkle. His glasses and suspenders. The squinty eyes. The way he talks. Urkle is a grade-a nerd. Boy can HOOP though.
Pick 9: WSD, Mark Zuckerberg (Creator of Facebook)
Grade- Like
WSD came to play today. Not only in Mark Zuckerberg a tech genius, he is just a straight up nerd. I think Zuck officially would get the “dweeb”. He is smart and rich but he is a legit robot. Very poor with human interaction. Seems to be as awkward as you can build em. Dave would have 100% bullied Zuckerberg in high school.
Pick 10: Robbie, Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
Grade- Howdily-Doodily
First animated nerd off the board. Flanders is the too nice type of nerd. Not a bad bone in his body, never thinks about disobeying authority or doing the wrong thing. Ned Flanders is truly a good person, but he is flat out a nerd. Buttoned up, missionary sex ass having Flanders. Awesome start to Robbies wrap around.
Round 2- Another powerhouse list of nerds, and the variety continues to show. Like I said in the opening paragraph, Nerds come in all shapes and sizes. After 2 rounds, Chief is looking like the weak link.
ROUND 3
Pick 11: Robbie, Dwight Shrute (The Office)
Grade- Assistant to the Regional Nerd
What a back to back for Robbie Fox. Forget about Dwights antics and back and forth with Jim, Dwight is a true blue nerd. Stout rule follower, volunteer fire safety officer, comic con goer, same ole mustard yellow shirt day after day wearin nerd. The intricate halloween costumes, his group of friends outside the office, his busted ass trans-am. You can go on and on about why Dwight is a nerd. Robbie is building a powerhouse.
Pick 12: WSD, Newman (Seinfeld)
Grade- NEWMAN!
Newman certainly has nerd qualities. He has dweeb qualities as well. But I don’t think he is a 3rd round nerd. If you want him on your team as a 5th round flier, sure. But 3rd round, a very important round, I think WSD whiffed with Newman. He has such a strong 1–2 that I am not ruling him out with this pick, but he clearly fell behind Robbie with this pick.
Pick 13: Carl, George R.R. Martin (Aurthor)
Grade- SZN8SUKD
Fat, hairy, gross, DnD type nerd. When you reside in the world George lives in, and has created, you are a certified geek. Game of Thrones is an absolute monster of a series and to be the mind behind that you are a big time nerd. Carl is sneaky putting together a very good list of nerds.
Pick 14: Chief, George McFly (Back To The Future)
Grade- GREAT SCOTT!
Your prototypical nerd. George McFly could go next to ‘nerd’ in the dictionary. Pants a little too high, hair push to the side, top button of his shirt buttoned. George looked, acted and spoke like a nerd because George was a nerd. This is shaping up to be a typical Chief draft, solid all around, but not strong enough to win.
Pick 15: Eddie, Andy (40 Year Old Virgin)
Grade- I’m painting your silver pants blue
Love this pick by Eddie. Andy is one of my favorite Steve Carrell characters and his nerdy and geeky nuances are so damn funny. Just a MASSIVE action figure and figurine collection. Huge video game nerd. Tucks in his pants to his socks when he takes his bike to work. And his biggest endorsement for being a nerd…..being a non-sex haver.
Round 3- Everyone is having a great day thus far. WSDs pick here really puts a damper on his first 2 but it still isn’t a bad pick by any means. I love Ed’s Andy pick. Robbie is the leader through 3 but its anyone’s draft to win.
ROUND 4
Pick 16: Eddie, Minkus (Boy Meets World)
Grade- Boy Meets Nerd
This pick garnered a big reaction and rightfully so. Minkus is such a nerd. Stuart Minkus. That may even be more of a nerd name than Urkle. His thinned framed, round glasses were such perfect nerd glasses. He was the perfect student. The perfect opposite to the Corey and Shaun duo. This will end up being an underrated pick.
Pick 17: Chief, Laney Boggs (She’s All That)
Grade- BONK
Well placed horny pick. Laney Boggs is a SMOKE and she is a nerd. I struggled trying to think of female nerds and Chief nailed it with this pick. Do I think it’s going to help his draft? No. Probably the opposite in fact. I dont think the voters will appreciate this pick.
Pick 18: Carl, Albert Einstein (Genius)
Grade- E=MC2
I was waiting for ole Al to get taken and 4th round, 18th overall is phenomenal value. He may be the god father of all of the nerds. Such there were ones before him, but his look and name took him over the top. Calling someone ‘Einstein’ is literally a play on how smart they believe they are. Carl refuses to give in to Robbie.
Pick 19: WSD, Milhouse (The Simpsons)
Grade- Comin’ Up Dave
While Robbie took the adult nerd of the Simpsons, WSD took the geeky kid of the show. Definitely smart to allow some picks to come in and separate the Simpsons picks, but Milhouse is a very strong pick. Simpsons fans may even consider him a better nerd pick so snagging some votes from Robbie is important. I still think WSD lost the draft with his Newman pick, but he having a great draft,
Pick 20: Robbie, George Lucas (Creator of Star Wars)
Grade- The Force is With Robbie
Robbie made a Nerd Sandwich with Flanders and Beets in the middle and the creators of Marvel and Star Wars as his bread. What a draft so far. Robbie has the potential to be the first guest to go 2–0 in draft history and he could very well be on his way.
Round 4- Robbie has two heavy hitters with Lee and Lucas now, that is a hard duo to top and I think this draft is his to lose. I love all the squids though. This is a draft where I think everyone has truly done a solid job through 4 rounds and picking someone to be left off is going to be very tough.
ROUND 5
Pick 21: Robbie, Jeff D. Lowe (Barstool)
Grade- Victory Lap
I think Robbie knew he had this in the bag after 4 rounds and was able to have some fun with pick 5. That doesn’t mean this is not a great 5th round pick. Everything I have learned about Jeff D. Lowe through his Barstool Sports content is that he is, in fact, a huge nerd. It was his moment on Surviving Barstool where he pops up from under the bar and hit hit head on the straw awning that solidified how much of a nerd Jeff is. Real respect real.
Pick 22: WSD, Data (The Goonies)
Grade- Booby Traps!
WSD won’t get the love he deserves for this pick from the younger crowd but its an awesome pick. Data was an original nerd. Data had a contraption for his contraptions. The young inventor. This is serious 5th round value from Dave. He was one pick away from really competing here.
Pick 23: Carl, Walter White (Breaking Bad)
Grade- Science, Bitch!
Carl said he needed a 5th round pick that made waves and he made one. Walter White moves the needle. He may have ended as Heisenberg, but early WW was a massive nerd. He was a pushover. He had no confidence. It took using his nerd-dom to create a meth empire to really let the bad-ass out. Are there better ways? Maybe, but the point is, nerds can be murderous drug king pings too.
Pick 24: Chief, Smalls (The Sandlot)
Grade- You’re Killin’ Me Chief!
Only a nerd wears that visor. That’s the nerdiest piece of headware these eyes have ever seen. Smalls is a fine pick but I think this solidifies Chiefs spot off the poll.
Pick 25- Mr. Irrelevant: Eddie, Rick Moranis (Actor)
Grade- Honey I Shrunk The Draft
Rick Moranis is currently very popular on social media so this could be an impactful Mr. Irrelevant for Ed. He has had a good draft and a unique and relevant 5th round pick is something Ed needed to have a chance vs. Robbie. Rick Moranis is akin to Michael Cera for a different generation. An all-time nerd look who was cast for nerd roles.
Robbie pivoting from Nerd Stuff to simply just Nerds pre-draft, after picking his draft spot, was one of the more impressive moves in draft history. Robbie basically did this draft on the fly, and had one of the strongest guest drafts we have seen on the Dog Walk. What’s even more impressive, it sounded like Robbie was ready to absolutely dominate the other style of Nerd draft as whale. Robbie is a nerd through and through and it showed today. This was just a great overall performance by all the drafters. I think Carl, Ed and WSD all have some incredible boards that are just not going to hold up v. Robbies. 2 draft appearances, 2 wins. Robbie Fox is the king of guest drafters, and the king of the nerds.
