NBA Playoffs are in full swing and Commissioner Ed loves his topical drafts, so it was an All-NBA Draft. Pick your starting five that will beat any other starting five assembled in a head to head. The big twist? Had to draft a player from each of the past five decades, 1970’s-2010’s. This is a huge caveat to the draft and one that I think takes it to the next level. Look what happens when Red Ed extends an olive branch. On to guest draft this week? None other than the OG NBA guy at Barstool and the now Editor In Chief (had to really put my game face on for this one), Coley Mick. The Chicago guys had Coleys TV screen on the floor so he didn’t get vertigo during the draft. Coley is not shy to ‘best of’ NBA lists, in fact, he may have invented them, so there was no other guest at Barstool to have on then the Mick Man. Aside from the decades, there was no other details to be mentioned about the specifics of the draft.
Categories:
NBA Starting 5 (2 Gs, 2 Fs, C); 1 player from the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 2000’s and 2010’s.
Draft Order:
1. Coley 2. Chief 3. Eddie 4. WSD 5. Carl
(Stats are for decade they were drafted to represent)
Round 1
Pick 1: Coley, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar; Milwaukee Bucks & Los Angeles Lakers (C, 1970’s)
1 Championship, 1 Finals MVP, 5 NBA MVPS, 9 ASGs, 6 All NBA Teams
Grade: Sky Hook
With no MJ on the board, 1.1 becomes a little nerve wracking. You are waiting 8 picks to get the second piece to your team and need to nail this pick. Even more so for Coley with the weight of his NBA reputation now on the line with this opening pick. Kareem certainly was one of the correct players to take here. Do I maybe want Shaq more? Yea. But the 70’s will be so thin I think this was the right move.
Pick 2: Chief, Magic Johnson; Los Angeles Lakers (G, 1980’s)
5 Championships, 3 Finals MVPS, 2 NBA MVPs, 9 ASGs, 8 All NBA Teams
Grade: Showtime
‘With the second pick of the draft Barstool Chief drafted Magic Johnson. Good pick! Magic Johnson played for the Lakers. He won 5 titles in the 80’s. He retired because of AIDs.’ -@MagicJohnson
Pick 3: Eddie, Shaquille O’neal; Los Angeles Lakers & Miami Heat (C, 2000’s)
4 Championships, 3 Finals MVPs, 1 NBA MVP, 9 ASGs, 7 All NBA Teams
Grade: Go To The General
Shaq was my personal 1.1. He may be the most intimidating player I have ever seen on a basketball court. His size is just different. He was way too athletic for how big he was. He was literally and figuratively a superhero. Think about what Shaq did with Kobe and Wade, now think what he would do with a roster of 4 of them.
Pick 4: WSD, Kobe Bryant; Los Angeles Lakers (SG, 2000’s)
4 Championships, 1 Finals MVP, 1 NBA MVP, 10 ASGs, 10 All NBA Teams
Grade: KOBE!
There are those like Coley who find the flaws in Kobe, but in this style draft I think very much has first round value and I would absolutely love to start my squad with him. With Carl having a back to back before WSDs second pick I don’t think Kobe makes it back to him so Dave got his guy. Kobe is legend and will play great on the graphic.
Pick 5: Carl, Larry Bird; Boston Celtics (F, 1980’s)
Grade: Legend
One of the best name in sports. Larry would just be popping jumpers and talking shit all day long if these games were to play out. Larry just has Carl vibes too. I think Coach Carl and his superstar would really mesh great.
Round 1: Los Angeles Lakers Greats Draft.
Round 2
Pick 6: Carl, Lebron James; Cleveland Cavaliers & Miami Heat (SF, 2010’s)
3 Championships, 3 Finals MVPs, 3 MVPs, 10 ASGs, 10 All NBA Teams
Grade: Guy Sucks.
There are so many amazing players in the NBA I, and I mean this weith every fiber of my being, would not draft Lebron in this draft. Have no interest in having him on my graphic. It is a glaring indication of the reputation he carries among a pretty big group of NBA fans. Lebron should have been the first player drafted, but he sucks. He sucks so bad. This doesn’t ruin Carls chances of winning the draft, but he sure isn’t getting my vote.
Pick 7: WSD, John Stockton; Utah Jazz (PG, 1990’s)
9 ASGs, 9 All NBA Teams
Grade: WSD; Not a basketball guy
Not the resume like the other guys off the board so far and not the guy I would be taking here. There are some guards on the board I would love to have over Stockton, and that is no shot to the amazing player that he is. I wasn’t expecting WSD to have a great showing here, its baseball season.
Pick 8: Eddie, Steph Curry; Golden State Warriors (G, 2010’s)
3 Championships, 2 MVPs, 6 ASGs, 6 All NBA Teams
Grade: Chef Eddie With The Pot Boi
Ed has taken my top two guys. Where Shaq was one form of fascinating, Steph is another. Just love the idea of this combo. Steph is a jaw dropping player. Was must watch TV in the 2010’s and still is. What a start for Ed.
Pick 9: Chief, Kevin Durant; OKC Thunder & Golden State Warriors (F, 2010’s)
2 Championships, 2 Finals MVPs, 1 NBA MVP, 10 ASGs, 9 All NBA Teams
Grade: Burner
More like Kevin Urant, ammirite Chief? KD….great defender, but Chiefs a hockey guy so he can have a pass. KD was my #2 for the 2010’s after Steph so once Steph came off the board I would have jumped on KD too. I bet Buratta Gang is just a bunch of Chief burners.
Pick 10: Coley, Julius Irving; Philadelphia 76ers (F, 1980’s)
1 Championship, 1 NBA MVP, 8 ASGs, 5 All NBA Teams
Grade: I need a Dr.
Getting 70’s Kareem and 80’s Dr. J is a savvy move by the MickMan. They are by far the two thinnest decades of the draft and after Magic and Bird came off the board following Kareem I see why Coley wanted to lock in an 80’s guy on his 2–3 wrap around. Dr. J played the majority of the 70’s in the ABA so although Coley passed on Kareems 80’s, I think it’s a very smart play if he wanted both these guys on his squad.
Round 2: I love Eds team. Chief and Coleys team are very much equal to Eds, but I just like Eds best so far. Carl tanked his draft with Lebrun. I don’t think WSD had plans of winning this one.
Round 3
Pick 11: Coley, Allen Iverson; Philadelphia 76ers & Denver Nuggets (G, 2000’s)
1 NBA MVP, 10 ASGs, 6 All NBA Teams
Grade: Practice!
We talkin’ bout practice! A.I. can play for my team any day. Wish he won a title. One of the more under appreciated guys to ever play (outside of his peers). Just listen how players talk about him. He was a game changing player as well as one of the coolest guys to ever lace them up.
Pick 12: Chief, Hakeem Olajuwan; Houston Rockets (C, 1990’s)
2 Championships, 2 Finals MVPs, 2 NBA MVPs, 6 ASGs, 8 All NBA Teams
Grade: Dreamy
Look at NBA Chief drafting an absolute juggernaut. Athleticism through the damn roof. Chiefs team is rolling with any of the other teams on the board through 3. I could see a second place finish for sure.
Round 3
Pick 11: Coley, Allen Iverson; Philadelphia 76ers & Denver Nuggets (G, 2000’s)
1 NBA MVP, 10 ASGs, 6 All NBA Teams
Grade: Practice!
We talkin’ bout practice! A.I. can play for my team any day. Wish he won a title. One of the more under appreciated guys to ever play (outside of his peers). Just listen how players talk about him. He was a game changing player as well as one of the coolest guys to ever lace them up.
Pick 12: Chief, Hakeem Olajuwan; Houston Rockets (C, 1990’s)
2 Championships, 2 Finals MVPs, 2 NBA MVPs, 6 ASGs, 8 All NBA Teams
Grade: Dreamy
Look at NBA Chief drafting an absolute juggernaut. Athleticism through the damn roof. Chiefs team is rolling with any of the other teams on the board through 3. I could see a second place finish for sure.
Pick 13: Eddie, Pete Maravich; Atlanta Hawks & New Orleans Jazz (G, 1970’s)
5 ASGs, 4 All NBA Teams
Grade: Double Pistols
Eddies team is getting buckets. 1970’s style buckets and new age buckets. Buckets on buckets on buckets. Plus the nickname Pistol Pete is incredible. You have to nail you 1970’s pick and Ed did.
Pick 14: WSD, Dominique Wilkins; Atlanta Hawks (F, 1980’s)
4 ASGs, 4 All NBA Teams
Grade: Not Going to Rip WSD in the Grades
WSD is drafting some outstanding NBA players, but his team will just get beat by these others squads. Back to Back guys who couldn’t get over the hump, just like Dave in the last million drafts.
Pick 15: Carl, Dennis Rodman; Detroit Pistons, San Antonio Spurs & Chicago Bulls (F, 1990’s)
4 Championships, 2 ASGs, 2 All NBA Teams
Grade:
I don’t get taking Rodman when Pippen is still available. Sure you get the sideshow fun with the Rodman pick and Scottie is simply the better player. With no MJ allowed, I figured Scottie would get drafted, real surprised Carl wen this route instead.
Round 3: Coley, Ed and Chief are duking it out. Carls 2nd and 3rd round picks drop him ou tof contention and WSD is just here for some draft fun.
Round 4
Pick 16: Carl, Steve Nash; Dallas Mavericks & Phoenix Suns (PG, 2000’s)
2 NBA MVPs, 6 ASGs, 6 All NBA Teams
Grade: GTLF
I wonder if Carl know Nasher is a Miller Lite guy. Just slugging GTLFs post game as the nets coach. I bet Nash would be an unreal player to have on your squad for a game like this but I bet Lebron would treat him like Delevedova or Alex Caruso. Still can’t believe Carl drafted that loser.
Pick 17: WSD, Dirk Nowizki; Dallas Mavericks (F, 2010’s)
1 Championship, 1 Finals MVP, 6 ASGs, 3 All NBA Teams
Grade: Prost!
Cheers to an okay pick Dave. 2000s Dirk is the Dirk you would want for this game but whatever, Dave has Dirk. The only reason Dave may be on the poll is because Carl picked Lebron.
Pick 18: Eddie, Scottie Pippen; Chicago Bulls (F, 1990’s)
6 Championships, 7 ASGs, 7 All NBA Teams
Grade: Wingman
This is 90’s Bull that you want. Scotties greatness will always be in MJs shadow but he was GOOD. MJ is the GOAT but Scottie was there for all 6 titles and played a massive role on those bulls teams. You want a guy who can mesh with greatness and win games? Ed got him.
Pick 19: Chief, Kevin Garnett; Minnesota Timberwolves & Boston Celtics (F, 2000’s)
1 Championship, 1 NBA MVP, 10 ASGs, 8 All NBA Teams
Grade: Honey Nut Cheerios
T Wolves KG was a bad bad man. Not the Cs KG wasn’t either, but there was just something different about his Minnesota days. There is a different, baggy jeans wearing, 2000s forward that I am taking before Garnett, but that doesn’t mean KG can’t help Chief win this draft, anything is possible.
Pick 20: Coley, David Robinson; San Antonio Spurs (C, 1990’s)
1 Championship, 1 MVP, 8 ASGs, 8 All NBA Teams
Grade: Admirable
See if Chief made the correct pick it would have gone Duncan and Robinson back to back and that would have been a cool finish to the 4th round but thats why Chief gets 2nd places and not wins. Nice pick by Coley from the player side, but let’s see how voters will look at this pick. Could be just the edge Ed needed.
Round 4: I don’t know if KG makes this a 2 dog fight between Ed and Coley so I won’t say it, but round 5 is a very important round for the outcome of this draft.
Round 5
Pick 21: Coley, Giannis Antetokounmpo; Milwaukee Bucks (G, 2010’s)
1 NBA MVP, 3 ASGs, 3 All NBA Teams
Grade: Freakish
Feel like Pete Maravich and John Stockton wouldn’t even know what to think if they saw Giannis on a court without knowing of him prior. They just didn’t make em like Giannis back then. The guy is a mutant who can now shoot it from deep. He is a problem on the floor. For some reason his name doesn’t seem to fit on this list but his game sure does.
Pick 22: Chief, John Havlichek; Boston Celtics (G, 1970’s)
2 Championships, 1 MVP, 8 9 ASGs, 7 All NBA Teams
Grade: Not Today, Chief
Another fine draft by Chief that just won’t produce a victory. Chief battled. NBA is not forte but he was in this draft until round 5 and that is commendable. Honorable. Respectable.
Pick 23: Eddie, Charles Barkley; Philadelphia 76ers (F, 1980’s)
3 ASGs, 4 All NBA Teams
Grade: Wrong Decade
Well Ernie, the 90s Chuck is the Chuck you want but I respect the move from Ed. People love Charles and he will play on the graphic. Ed really could have closed the door on Coley but he didn’t. Shaq would just constantly keep telling Charles he never won.
Pick 24: WSD, Bill Walton; Portland Trailblazers (C, 1970’s)
1 Championship, 1 Finals MVP, 1 NBA MVP, 2 ASGS, 2 All NBA Teams
Grade: Psychedelic
What a phenomenal 5th round pick for WSD. Such a bummer Walton had feet couldn’t hold up his massive frame, but he was an unreal player. If WSD lets Carl get Walton as Mr. Irrelevant, Carls team has a whole new rejuvenated look. Pick of the 5th round.
Pick 25(Mr. Irrelevant): Carl, Wes Unseld; Washington Bullets (C, 1970s) VETO: Lou
Alcindor
1 Championship, 1 Finals MVP, 4 ASGs
Grade: Truly irrevlevant
Sometimes Mr. Irrelevant are awesome picks. Other times they are funny picks. And in this case, it is truly an irrelevant pick. The 1970s to the 5th round strategy crushed Chief and Carl.
A lot of good players in the NBA. How cool would be to actually see these games play out. It would be an unfathomable amount of talent on the court at once. A round robin tournament where each team plays each other once and seeds are earned for a tournament. Would be a basketball fans wet dream. Someone does this on 2K. I Stink at 2K and Do not have 2K. I think I am picking Eddie. But Coleys squad is unreal. It will come down to those two.
